Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Proposed New Olympic Event: Shark Jumping

Well, first there's McCain referencing his POW experience in the Hanoi Hilton, most recently with Jay Leno.

Next, tonight's speech by Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton has definitely jumped the shark a long time ago. I am quite looking forward to what the addled old loose cannon might ad lib at tonight's DNC speech. Added Shark Jumping points if he delivers one of his interminable three-hour stream-of-consciousness rants. Judges are instructed to pay particular attention to whether his lip-biting technique has deteriorated after being on the bypass machine. Then there's the cadaveric half-open mouth showing upper teeth posture.

Finally, Obama will prove to us he is not some creepy demagogue by delivering a Nuremberg-esque rally in front of a berserk mob at Invesco Field. We can only hope he can top his psychotic "the seas began to roll back" rhetoric, although it will be difficult. Alternatively, he can address criticism about his lack of substance with a yawnworthy wonkfest of a speech, which might leave his 70,000 salivating followers scratching their heads. We will see if the cameras can be kept off the attending celebrities.

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